More Men Seeking To Escape Abusive Relationships

Number of posts : 940 Points : 1946 Registration date : 2008-04-02

Posted on Sat, Jul. 12, 2008

BY TAYLOR BARNES
tbarnes@MiamiHerald.com

When Broward County's only certified domestic violence shelter, Women
in Distress, opened in 1974, its sole purpose was to offer beds to
women. Now, shelter leaders say they see up to 15 men a year who need a
safe place from domestic violence.

''Despite our name, we serve both men and women, and increasingly same-sex partners,'' said Mary Riedel, shelter president.

As shown by the shots fired earlier this week at Fort Lauderdale Police
Chief Frank Adderley by his wife, men can be the targets of domestic
violence, a crime long associated with female victims.

An estimated 5 percent of reported domestic violence victims nationwide
are men, said Lt. Sherry Schlueter, who leads the Special Victims and
Family Crimes section at the Broward Sheriff's Office -- where serious
felony-level cases are handled.

UNKNOWN VICTIMS

But Schlueter said she believes many more males are victims but are
''disinclined'' to report relationship violence in part because of
``the perception of victimization.''

Some of the South Florida numbers back that assertion. From 2003 to
2008, 642 men reported domestic violence to Schlueter's office compared
to 1,532 women. In all years, the majority of domestic violence cases
against a given gender were from an offender of the opposite sex.

The total number of men reporting domestic violence grew each year from
2003 to 2007, which the office said could be due in part to an
expansion of the sheriff's jurisdiction.

The Lodge, a domestic violence shelter with 40 beds in Miami-Dade
County, also offers shelter to male victims, said Executive Director
Angela Diaz-Vidaillet.

Shelters in Miami-Dade -- Safespace and The Lodge -- have names that do
not reflect the gender of the majority of domestic violence victims.
Diaz-Vidaillet said that in 2004, when The Lodge was set to open,
founders considered calling it ``The Women's Lodge.''

''However, we don't only serve women, so we couldn't possibly give it that name,'' she said.

Of violent crimes in general, Schlueter said, the aggressors are not
just men. ``We are seeing a rise in violence perpetrated by females.''

Sherrie Schwab, chief operating officer of Women in Distress, says
women are capable of being as violent as men even without a weapon.
''You don't need a gun to be violent. Small women can be very
violent,'' she said.

Male victims of domestic violence seek both emergency lodging and
outreach services. In the second half of 2007, the most recent period
for which statistics are available, 4,020 men statewide used telephone
counseling for domestic violence, compared with 52,595 women, according
to the Florida Department of Children & Families.

''It was strange for me when I saw my first male victim,'' Schwab said,
because the complaints he made sounded just like ones she had heard
from women for years. ``It was just verbatim.''

Abuse occurs as frequently in same-sex relationships as heterosexual
ones, said Brenda Levine, who directs outreach services for Women in
Distress.

Within the past few weeks, the agency coordinated emergency shelter for
a man who was ''quite physically abused'' by his male partner,
according to Riedel, who did not disclose further details of the case
for confidentiality reasons.

SEPARATED

Though men contact Women in Distress, the organization does not house
them alongside female victims. About five years ago, Women in Distress
started partnering with local hotels and motels to provide rooms for
women when they ran out of beds in the main buildings and for men who
could not be housed alongside women.

Before the partnership, male victims of domestic violence stayed in Salvation Army facilities or homeless shelters, Riedel said.

Schwab said the shelter at Women in Distress is nearly always full.
''Given where we live, it can be hard at times to get a free hotel
room,'' she said, adding that demand for emergency housing is greater
than their supply.

``We can't meet the needs of our community.''

Funny you posted this today...because I saw a news paper cliping that stated "My wife beats me Twisted Evil

" in blog today....damn it ...let me go see if I can find it.

**FOUND IT!!!** **Obaa Yaa's column in The Spectator, July 56 2002. Ghana**

FOUND IT!!! lol!

Obaa Yaa's column in The Spectator, July 56 2002. Ghana

Damn Ghanian women be beating their wives. Evil or Very Mad

That's not good but he should remove himself from that situation.

I live not too far from where the Police officer and his wife lives. When I saw it on the local news I was shocked and appalled that this woman will do this but then again we don't know what he did to her for her to do this.

Number of posts : 1145 Points : 562 Registration date : 2008-04-25

heru1976 wrote:: I live not too far from where the Police officer and his wife lives. When I saw it on the local news I was shocked and appalled that this woman will do this but then again we don't know what he did to her for her to do this.

Domestic violence is never justified. :)

Hell no, I can NEVER be with a woman who can beat me. It is a big disgrace and the man will never have respect. Abusive women are more controlling then any other woman or even abusive man. The first beating given to me by my wife will be enough for me to get out of that relationship.

Why are you acting all macho now? You didn't say all this last night.

Philomath wrote:: Hell no, I can NEVER be with a woman who can beat me. It is a big disgrace and the man will never have respect. Abusive women are more controlling then any other woman or even abusive man. The first beating given to me by my wife will be enough for me to get out of that relationship.

I'm sorry yor for laughing and I know this is a serious topic....but I just can't picture a women beating her husband : th_spanky

LovinLiberia wrote:: Why are you acting all macho now? You didn't say all this last night.

IT WASTE!!

There is no macho acting going on. You know how this topic is far from lastnight.

LovinLiberia wrote:: Why are you acting all macho now? You didn't say all this last night.

Geyla Queen wrote:

Philomath wrote:: Hell no, I can NEVER be with a woman who can beat me. It is a big disgrace and the man will never have respect. Abusive women are more controlling then any other woman or even abusive man. The first beating given to me by my wife will be enough for me to get out of that relationship.

I'm sorry yor for laughing and I know this is a serious topic....but I just can't picture a women beating her husband : th_spanky

I always say the same thing...the idea of a woman beating on her husband seems so strange.

Geyla Queen wrote:

LovinLiberia wrote:: Why are you acting all macho now? You didn't say all this last night.

IT WASTE!!

I'm putting it up quickly before it spread all over the floor.

Number of posts : 437 Points : 197 Registration date : 2008-04-25

About 19 years ago, or as we say back in the day in Cali, I had a Liberian woman who was extremely abusive to poor Rufus... At times when I left work on Fridays and got home Sundays evening, she would cuss me and my entire generation from head to toes.

rberry wrote:: About 19 years ago, or as we say back in the day in Cali, I had a Liberian woman who was extremely abusive to poor Rufus... At times when I left work on Fridays and got home Sundays evening, she would cuss me and my entire generation from head to toes.

she just looked at you and started cussing??? th_mrgreen

Number of posts : 437 Points : 197 Registration date : 2008-04-25

candygirl wrote:

rberry wrote:: About 19 years ago, or as we say back in the day in Cali, I had a Liberian woman who was extremely abusive to poor Rufus... At times when I left work on Fridays and got home Sundays evening, she would cuss me and my entire generation from head to toes.

she just looked at you and started cussing??? th_mrgreen

Yes oohh my dear, just when I walked through the doors....

rberry wrote:

candygirl wrote:

rberry wrote:: About 19 years ago, or as we say back in the day in Cali, I had a Liberian woman who was extremely abusive to poor Rufus... At times when I left work on Fridays and got home Sundays evening, she would cuss me and my entire generation from head to toes.

she just looked at you and started cussing??? th_mrgreen

Yes oohh my dear, just when I walked through the doors....

, what time did you walk in the door?

rberry wrote:

candygirl wrote:

rberry wrote:: About 19 years ago, or as we say back in the day in Cali, I had a Liberian woman who was extremely abusive to poor Rufus... At times when I left work on Fridays and got home Sundays evening, she would cuss me and my entire generation from head to toes.

she just looked at you and started cussing??? th_mrgreen

Yes oohh my dear, just when I walked through the doors....

the story lacking some important parts oh Pope th_mrgreen

rberry wrote:: About 19 years ago, or as we say back in the day in Cali, I had a Liberian woman who was extremely abusive to poor Rufus... At times when I left work on Fridays and got home Sundays evening, she would cuss me and my entire generation from head to toes.

Rufus, don't see something different within the days? why should leave work on a friday and get home on a sunday evening? If it is how that went, then you are not poor Rufus.

Number of posts : 437 Points : 197 Registration date : 2008-04-25

After all these years, I now recognize that I was extremely lucky, because she didn't go far enough. What I did to that amazing Liberian lady was totally deplorable (leaving work Friday at 5:00 pm and getting home on Sunday at 8:00 pm). She could have lost her mind and really actually acted the fool. Lord knows she would have been 100% right. Those were the horrible days of Saul, now it’s the Pope th_yes

.

Traveller wrote:

heru1976 wrote:: I live not too far from where the Police officer and his wife lives. When I saw it on the local news I was shocked and appalled that this woman will do this but then again we don't know what he did to her for her to do this.

Domestic violence is never justified. :)

No, I am not trying to justified anything. I am just saying we don't know what that man did to that woman to possess her to get a gun and shoot at him. So there are two sides to every story. Some women do not know how to deal with certain things and the stress can cause them to do anything.

Number of posts : 1145 Points : 562 Registration date : 2008-04-25

heru1976 wrote:

Traveller wrote:

heru1976 wrote:: I live not too far from where the Police officer and his wife lives. When I saw it on the local news I was shocked and appalled that this woman will do this but then again we don't know what he did to her for her to do this.

Domestic violence is never justified. :)

No, I am not trying to justified anything. I am just saying we don't know what that man did to that woman to possess her to get a gun and shoot at him. So there are two sides to every story. Some women do not know how to deal with certain things and the stress can cause them to do anything.

I'm just messing wit ya. Me pah, my wife lor beat me every Thursday at 8:30pm. :)

Last edited by Geyla Queen on Tue Jul 15, 2008 2:06 am; edited 2 times in total

Philomath wrote:

rberry wrote:: About 19 years ago, or as we say back in the day in Cali, I had a Liberian woman who was extremely abusive to poor Rufus... At times when I left work on Fridays and got home Sundays evening, she would cuss me and my entire generation from head to toes.

Rufus, don't see something different within the days? why should leave work on a friday and get home on a sunday evening? If it is how that went, then you are not poor Rufus.

Rufus

Traveller wrote:

heru1976 wrote:

Traveller wrote:

heru1976 wrote:: I live not too far from where the Police officer and his wife lives. When I saw it on the local news I was shocked and appalled that this woman will do this but then again we don't know what he did to her for her to do this.

Domestic violence is never justified. :)

No, I am not trying to justified anything. I am just saying we don't know what that man did to that woman to possess her to get a gun and shoot at him. So there are two sides to every story. Some women do not know how to deal with certain things and the stress can cause them to do anything.

I'm just messing wit ya. Me pah, my wife lor beat me every Thursday at 8:30pm. :)

You are so crazy. You sound like you can enjoy it.

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