A Dog Named Sex by Morty Storm
When I went to City Hall to renew my dog's license, I told the clerk I
wanted a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like one, too!"
I said, "But this is a dog."
He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, "You don't
understand. I've had Sex since I was 9 years old." He winked at me and
said, "You must have been quite a kid."
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took my dog with me. I
told the motel clerk I wanted a room for my wife and me, and a special
room for Sex. He said, "You don't need a special room for Sex. As long
as you pay your bill, we don't care what you do."
I said, "Look, you don't seem to understand. Sex keeps me awake at
night."
The clerk said, "Funny, I have the same problem."
Well, one day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition
began, the dog got loose and ran away. Another contestant asked my
why I was just standing there, looking disappointed. I told him I had
planned to have Sex in the contest. He said, "Wonderful! If you sell
tickets, you'll clean up!"
But you don't understand, I said. "I want to have Sex on TV." He said,
"They already have that on cable. It's no big deal anymore."
Well, my wife and I decided to separate, so we went to court to fight
for custody of the dog.
I said to the judge, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married." The
judge said, "The court is not a confessional. Please stick to the facts."
I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, "Me, too."
Well last night, Sex ran away again and I spent hours looking all over
for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this
alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?" I said, "I'm looking for Sex."
My case comes up Friday.